A Loving Relationship You Don’t Need

A Loving Relationship You Don’t Need
Victory Odunjo

Dating is the order of the day in our world today. Young children are already in relationships and say they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Interestingly, I didn’t know what to do with feelings for a girl I liked till was in my late teenage years. I always used to think, “Oh I like that girl o, we have meaningful conversations and she is pretty too. I’m attracted.”

Meanwhile, I was totally clueless about what to do. I just kept playing along till the feelings wore out, they always did. One day, I heard that I could get a girlfriend by asking her out. I was that old before I found out, but now, it’s the other way round! People already understand the concept from a little age.

Move in a couple of years down the line and you discover that as youths, there is already an irregular pattern of thoughts and patterns concerning relationships. They end up having dated so many people, that marriage doesn’t seem like something that they’ll like to have in the future.

Due to the make and break pattern of their relationships in earlier times, it’s hard to believe. But the movies help to increase the perception of a need for an early relationship. Yet, I haven’t seen a movie that points clearly to what a youth should spend his or her time doing before a relationship.

Most people that think they need relationships actually don’t need one at the moment!

Have you tried placing a stone on an ant before? One thing will certainly happen, the stone will compress the ant and kill it. This is the exact reason why we have many people never reaching their full potentials anymore in our generation. You may  have heard this before, but the source of many dissatisfied lives can be traced to their relationships.

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The time for self-development has been given to keeping another person company. Dating is then presented as something that can’t be done without. That perception is then built in the hearts of many youths, it then takes root and germinates. The fruits, though are terrible: unwanted pregnancy, many broken hearts, peer pressure, more secrets, more sex and even many sexually transmitted diseases. This is the latest way of life for many.

But you need to know that you don’t need that loving relationship now! Why now? Have you taken time out to know who you are and what you can become? If a bird and a fish fall in love before they know they can’t live in each others world, wouldn’t that be terrible? Are you already complete or you are looking for someone to complete you?

This is the best time to begin building up yourself, and knowing God too. You can’t help others when you’ve not helped yourself. You have not built your muscles to carry you, yet you want to carry another!

Some are already carrying another person and it is weighing them down, you can’t continue. Drop that person and get a breather, give yourself space and help yourself. No matter how loving a relationship may look, it may not be needed. Whenever you are finally ready to accommodate another person in your life, it’ll be with ease because you’ll both be complete people sharing what you have.

It’s never too late to start building yourself, it’s time to work on your deficiencies. If you can’t accept yourself, then don’t make it someone else’s job to do it for you.

SEE ALSO:  Help, My Fiancee Is 3 Months Pregnant For Another Man 3

Go on now, have some ‘you time’ and remember to not get caught in the “I need to be in a relationship now web!” It will all be worth it.


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Victory Odunjo

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I'm a people person that simply wants to add value, and inspire others..
Victory Odunjo

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View Comments (6)


  1. sesanchuks

    April 8, 2016 at 9:53 am

    This spoke to me soo deeply, everyone always expecting me to have someone already! I have made mistakes and realised I just wasn’t ready yet, it’s hard to love someone else when I haven’t fully loved or known myself. More aboniki to your elbow Victory, Cheer.

    • Victory Odunjo

      Victory Odunjo

      April 10, 2016 at 12:48 pm

      I know how it feels Sesan, the pressure is constantly there, but we must not let it get to us. Once you enjoy the time and make maximum use of it as much as possible, then another person would be glad to be a part of your world :) Thanks for the aboniki.. Lol

  2. Hope Omotoso

    April 8, 2016 at 10:09 am


  3. Ayeni Paul

    April 8, 2016 at 7:04 pm

    “If a bird and a fish fall in love before they know they can’t live in each others world, wouldn’t that be terrible?”

    Couldn’t have said it better. Well done Mr. Pathfinder ?

    • Victory Odunjo

      Victory Odunjo

      April 10, 2016 at 12:50 pm

      It would be terrible Mr ReadyWriter360°. If love has no right condition to thrive in, then it won’t last at all. Thanks man

  4. Tomilola

    January 12, 2017 at 8:04 pm

    Yaaaassssss….nail, head , everything hit each other

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Victory Odunjo

I'm a people person that simply wants to add value, and inspire others..

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