This true story is one which happened on a random night. I had decided to go on a stroll with my cousin to a suya (barbecue) spot somewhere in my area. Since it was evening, I didn’t deem it fit to change my outfit, and simply decided to wear what I had on all day. The suya joint was only a few streets away and had no reason to believe anything could go wrong, or so I thought. The attire I had on all day was on a black top with pink polka dots, which revealed my “fresh” arms. I also wore pink reebok pants that were fitting, thereby placing an emphasis on my shape. I remember this experience vividly because it was a shocking reality I had to deal with.
So out we went on our jolly suya stroll, we had to connect to another street to get the suya spot. The path we were going through was a very busy road, and there were a lot of activities occurring there. Cars and bikes were in abundance, so trust me when I say it was a very busy environment. Evenings are typically when Nigerians appreciate suya as it is a time they get to relax from a long day of work or school, as it applies. Even suya sellers hardly open during the day, but specialize in evening sale.
On getting to the spot with my cousin, who was a guy, he began selecting what pieces he wanted to buy and was bargaining with the malam (seller). I on the other hand, was just trying to enjoy the opportunity and atmosphere because getting suya wasn’t an everyday thing. As the bargaining went on, I suddenly heard a loud sound, and I felt the effect through my skin as well as got a shiver through my whole body. To say I was amazed would be an understatement; I was in a state of total shock. A random guy had given me a smack on my behind, my very own personal buttocks. Without my permission! (It’s not as if I would have allowed him if he even asked).
I didn’t even get the opportunity to shout, because everything happened so quickly. By the time I turned around to see who smacked my butt, I discovered he was on a moving motorcycle, and was already many metres ahead. I was the only one who knew what happened; no one in the busy environment saw anything. Not even my cousin or the malam selling us suya. I was so confused on what I should have done that very moment, whether I should have run after him or shouted or cried. I was clueless and never said a word about it to anybody.
At that point in time, I couldn’t decipher the cause of this random behavior from this guy. But then, I would say I have come to learn that whatever I wore or wear could arouse someone negatively, especially men. I didn’t know/understand that dressing in a particular way could attract some men sexually; I was simply following the trend of dressing I had seen. I’m not trying to justify the man who smacked my butt and went into the night probably with a grin on his face. But that day has changed my perspective, and my dress sense too.
I have learnt that sometimes it’s not about looking fab or looking fly. Nor is it about being “on point” like many celebrities claim to be. For us as Christian women, our first assignment is to dress to the glory of God. Say we don’t even think that far, it is our duty to dress to respect ourselves and the body God gave us.
Many times we claim to dress for comfort, and ignore/neglect the discomfort of others, especially the men who see us. As a lady myself, I know that at other times, in the depth of our hearts, we dress simply for the attention and affection we get from men. If we were dressing only to be seen in the comfort of our homes, I honestly would not be bothered by what you wear. But the moment we step out, we step into the prying eyes of the world. A world without restrictions, where people don’t know who you are or why you do the things you do. A place where people react firstly based on what they see, and how they process what they see. Men especially are very visual, and anything you wear determines the way their body reacts to you. Based on my little story, I’ll like to encourage all ladies to dress not only for their “comfort”, but the respect of their bodies, and help men not take us as sexual objects or toys. The flesh is very powerful, and everyone has their struggle, don’t lead others to sin. Concentrate more on your character, and discovering who you are in God, then your uniqueness would come out to all, and God would be glorified. Men should also be decent and composed, and not always be moved by what they see, there is more than what meets the eye. Women are treasures that should be treasured, the Bible says her price is far above rubies, so treat them as such.
I want women to show their beauty by dressing in appropriate clothes that are modest and respectable. Their beauty will be shown by what they do, not by their hair styles or the gold jewelry, pearls, or expensive clothes they wear. This is what is proper for women who claim to have reverence for God. – 1 Timothy 2:9-10
By Abiola B
This is a true story shared with me by Abiola. It wasn’t such a pleasant experience for her, but she felt many ladies could learn from it, the men as well. I also have a lot to say about the way ladies dress today, there is hardly a difference between the godly and ungodly. I’ll share many of my thoughts in another post. Your views and thoughts matter
I’ll appreciate your comment on this article. This is a major issue that should be discussed. Thanks for reading
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