It is totally fine to desire big things and to work to keep improving the state of things in your life. However, what isn’t right is for you to feel insecure all through your life’s journey. Trust me, there will be many times when you’ll feel like you have no business contributing anything at all to the world, no matter how small, because there are others doing bigger things.
To make it worse, there would be those people ahead who will talk you down and make you feel far less than you are currently worth. Many of them do this to get you to stay loyal to them and to have you second-guessing your gifts and skills while they get on ahead.
Let’s say they are right to a certain extent, and you still have a lot of learning to do or you aren’t a pro yet, it is still no reason for you to be made to feel like you know nothing. You need to build yourself to a level where you are secure enough within yourself. Have a healthy perspective of who you are and what you bring to the table. I am not talking about being arrogant and rude so that no one can speak to you without you replying to them in the worst ways possible, no! I’m talking about something much healthier, let’s call it a balanced approach.
I see a lot of people out there who hang their heads in shame because there is something that is expected of them at a certain stage in life that they are unable to give.
“This is the age you should be getting married and having your kids.” “How could you not already own properties and investments?” “You don’t have a Ph.D. already? What have you been doing with your life?” “No 6-figure salary, are you that incompetent?” “It even seems like you repeat the same sets of clothes regularly. Can’t you buy many more?” “Hmm, you have been using an Android device for many years now, when will you join the iPhone group?” “When will you finally be able to take your family on vacation?”
On and on these questions go with no end. And even though the people being asked these questions do their best to answer in the nicest ways possible and even with smiles, they walk away, more heavy-hearted than before the conversation started. The walls of “I do not measure up, I do not belong, and I am not enough” keep building, silently.”
I don’t need to ask if you’ve felt like this at any point, maybe you still feel like this. But I know we all have felt inadequate at some points in our lives.
I won’t try to correct those who put you down or make you feel less than yourself. Of course, they could do better by expressing themselves with wisdom and being aware of how the conversation will make you feel. The issue is most people don’t care that much about your feelings. So we can’t focus on them right now, but we can focus on you!
I can’t help those other people, but I can help you. I can place a demand on you to own your life and step out confidently in it. Throw away the facade of wanting to look perfect and lacking nothing. Remember we had that discussion that Everyone Has Flaws right? Exactly! When are you owning up to the things you don’t have and that you currently haven’t been able to accomplish? When do you get comfortable discussing your fears and shortcomings without it breaking your heart and causing you to cry at night?
When will you take full responsibility for your progress and your path, even seeking help if the need be?
I think it’s time for you to own every area of your life with full confidence while being open to learn and improve as much as you can! No, you haven’t traveled out of the country before. So how should that make you feel less than everyone else on that table? How about your village experiences that neither of them has?
See, if anyone is unimpressed with any area of your life and is unwilling to actually help you to get out of it, the person should walk on by. The world is full of critics and those who pose to be your friends, meanwhile what they truly are people who take joy in pulling you down into becoming what you are not! If they won’t help you improve or suggest ways to do so, you are on the wrong table.
Contentment is something you must learn to live by. Contentment doesn’t always mean complacency. Contentment simply means “I am grateful for where I currently am, I can see all the good things that I am privileged to enjoy. I am also fully aware of all the things I am not and I am striving to be. At the same time, I am taking full responsibility for everything I experience in my current phase and would not be ashamed of it because I am working to improve on it.
Hence, I would give my best attitude to whatever I do, I show kindness to whomever I meet and ensure that I can’t be picked out from the crowd as someone having the least, simply because there is something I am currently not, or I am hoping to be. I will maximize all the current resources I have to do big things even if it takes me a long time!”
This is the kind of mindset you need to take into your everyday life. You need to pat yourself on the back more often, knowing fully well that you are doing your best to make something better happen with your life.
There is a need for time and patience on your journey, and not everyone can see or understand that. Neither can they see that you have had to deal with a different set of circumstances from them that has made you where you are, yet you rise. The failures, disappointments? You still rise higher!
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel less of yourself, instead turn it around on its head and seek for how you can improve. Don’t close the loop in your mind about how you can improve. Ask yourself what you can be doing more consistently or differently to change the state of things.
Think of yourself as a seed. Everything a seed needs to become a fruit-bearing tree is right inside the seed, it could feed communities in the long run. But it may be overlooked, downplayed because it is just a seed. Does this mean the seed is worthless? Of course not! Those who know the potential of every seed will treat it right. Don’t look at your life like you are just a seed with no future or value, instead, live with the knowledge that you are more than enough to reach the future you desire.
The truth is, there will never be a time where there won’t be anyone better than you in a certain area. This is a battle you may never win, especially if you only live to judge yourself by what others think and expect of you. It is only when you learn to think highly of yourself, that you will act in accordance with those thoughts. Never let material things be what holds you down in your journey of life. Look up, you see those clouds? That’s where you belong!
Thanks for reading.
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