Recently, someone broke down in tears upon seeing the pre-wedding photoshoot of another beautiful couple getting married soon. Not tears of joy, but tears of confusion, not understanding, and sadness. Why is it not me in these pictures Lord?
You can’t even understand! If you have not been in that person’s shoes, you can’t even understand why the person should be crying. Quite a number of people had their hearts broken on Valentine’s day and they were not even in relationships. How did that happen?
With every post, they saw on social media, every story, every status. A part of their heart got broken every time. At the end of Valentine’s day, their hearts were in pieces due to not having that one person to show them love.
You see, this matter is very tough, and if you don’t realize this, then I hope you never get to that point where it is this hard for you. You really don’t know what marriage means, and knowing you are to be loved by someone for the rest of your life. I mean someone chose to love you the way you are and stake their future at your table. No, you just don’t understand what it means.
Do you know how beautiful the concept of marriage is? Do you know how it is a goal that must be reached for some of us? Do you know the accumulation of content, pictures, videos that many of us have consumed to build such a big expectation of what is to come? Please don’t bring that ‘Can you stay single all your life epistle, it is not our portion.’
Hmmmmmn. I know these thoughts, I have heard them discussed time and again. I have gained access to the hearts of many, and there is a secret room for tears and desires concerning marriage. To desire marriage is a good thing, it is indeed great to desire to be united with another.
But what I have come to see is that many of us are not as equipped as we ought to be concerning the transition into marriage. Now think of how many people are not prepared for marriage itself.
Many of us only have our gaze, set on the wedding. The glamour, the beauty, the lights, and that interesting couple dance. What happens after the wedding, we probably don’t care. Oh well maybe we do, but we have attended people’s weddings, not their marriages, so we don’t know how it goes.
The more internal question people tend to ask is more of “I am not married, what’s wrong with me?” If you are in a relationship and you are reading this article, thinking you are not on this table, Ogbeni you are there too o 😂 You that every second you are changing your idea of what you want in your wedding because of a new thing you have seen, when will you calm down?
Nothing is wrong with you because you are not married! Relax your body please! Do you know it is healthy for you to take a huge break from following all these wedding pages and websites that feed you at least 20 to 50 images and videos on weddings daily? Because you have filled your mind with so many expectations, your “Awwwn so cute” and “I go love o” has already become tears at 2 am. You know what I am saying.
I just believe you have entered that season in your life where folks get married. You didn’t have it like this 10 years ago, and it won’t ever be like this in 20 years from now.
See it as the rainy season. Do you ever say “ah rainy season o. Oh God when will rain fall in my area? Almighty God let the rain fall on me. Will this rain ever get to me?” No, you definitely don’t think like that.
You simply say oh, it is the rainy season already. Let me get my umbrella, my boots, and my sweater. I need to be well prepared for this because I should not be caught unawares. That’s not the sound of confusion but of preparation.
Let every image you see, video you watch before you get married be a reminder to you that the season is here and you need to prepare for not just your wedding but your marriage.
Let every pre-wedding shoot you see move you from asking “God when?” to “God, prepare me for marriage. What are the things I need to be doing right now?”
The reason is that this is that season in your life and marriage is definitely going to come your way, like rain on an unexpected day! Would you be ready to face it?
How’s your broken heart? Is it healing yet? How about those negative experiences in your past relationships? Have you forgiven those who hurt you yet? Your weaknesses and excuses for character flaws, are you getting them dealt with? How about new knowledge apart from how your father treated your mother or how your mother treated your father, are you aware of how to do it much better?
The roles of a man in a family, the roles of a woman in a home, are you up to date with the responsibilities? Even taking responsibility for your partner and the future you both have together, are you ready for all the nights you have to stay up thinking through things and praying them out?
Raising kids too? Do you intend to raise kids just like your parents raised you, no difference? Ever thought of the effects of social media and our ever-changing world on how your children will be raised in the future? Have you made up your mind that work won’t take the place of spending time with your spouse and kids?
I think this matter is beyond something being wrong with you. I think it is more about you not seeing the bigger picture of what marriage entails. That’s where your focus needs to be.
You need to stay whole in knowing fully well that no one will ever love you as Christ does. He came to die for you before you knew you needed Him. It is his love that counts the most in your life whether you are single or married. At the end of the day, it is His love that heals you and can bear all the burdens that you carry, your shame, your pain, and your past. It is Jesus that can turn all of that around for your good!
Soon enough, the chosen one you have dreamt and thought of will appear, better than you have ever imagined!
Stay ready for when the rain of marriage hits your umbrella, let it know you were prepared ❤
I definitely wish you the very best as always.
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