The world we live in is an interesting one. Figuring out how things work is one thing that never ends. Everyone in their own little way is trying to grasp and make sense of how to go about being successful and to live without pain or regrets.
In our quest for a better life, we all want to have access to people who are currently living the future we want to have or have been placed in leadership positions to guide and move us ahead. It’s the same with those around us, we always expect more from them, hoping that they will raise the standard of things.
I am writing this article to only give you a gentle nudge in the direction of the truth. Honestly, the truth is always before us most of the time, but we tend to give excuses for why the truth shouldn’t be the truth. We don’t want to deal with the reality or face the fact that it changes how we’ve known things to be.
The truth is that many of us expect perfection from people around us.
You can read that again so it sinks in.
We expect our leaders, friends, siblings, colleagues, pastors to be people without flaws. They are expected to be doing everything right at every point in time. We are easily disappointed or pained when we find them doing the opposite of being perfect. We don’t even want to come to terms that they make mistakes.
Meanwhile, we find it very easy to accept ourselves and our shortcomings. We understand the boundaries of who we are and what we can or cannot do. But on the other hand, we just don’t know how to accept these flaws when it comes to other people.
Think of how easy it is for you to let yourself off the hook or tell yourself you’ll do better next time. Or go completely against what you believe and stand for and promise yourself you won’t do so again.
You have actually learnt to live with your flaws and imperfections. In fact, you have gotten so comfortable in them that your imperfection is now being projected as perfection. Anyone who can’t deal with it should find someone else.
Over the course of my life, I have been privileged to live and interact with all kinds of people. Some of them are highly respected and looked up to, others are the normal folks living their daily lives. A host of others are the ones I have had the front seat in their lives, going through the motions with them.
If you were to ask me what they all have in common regardless of their ages, status, expectations or class, I’ll say flaws and imperfections are the most pronounced things they have in common. I need you to trust me on this one. You may not like what you see when you meet some people behind closed doors.
You may not be excited to see the other side of the people who you are excited about being around in public. And of course the issue is not with them, because they are just being human, the issue is with your expecting them to be superhuman!
I know people who can’t stand the errors or mistakes of others, it disgusts them, even though they themselves make the most glaring mistakes! They will hang you by every word you say wrong, even the situations in which you failed and misinterpreted, they will count as you being intentionally wicked.
Can we all admit for once that we all need help and handouts of grace and mercy?
I have watched people break their own hearts by the unrealistic expectations they had of people who were dealing with struggles of their own too.
Think about how you just can’t think of a person you respect so much being broke. Or how you don’t expect some of your mentors to have sexual cravings. You won’t believe how some people have disconnected the fact that to have a child, you actually need to have sex! They have painted the image of those they respect like gods that they can’t imagine even have sex.
They don’t believe the morning breath of their superhero smells, or that also bite their fingernails.
Many of us expect that to be helped out of our imperfection, we can only be helped by perfect people.
This expectation is actually not wrong in a sense, and if everyone who feels like this actually follows through with this line of thought, they’ll realize no man can give them what they are looking for, only a perfect God can!
The desire to find a perfect being isn’t totally wrong, it is the imperfect beings that it is being cast upon that makes us disappointed all the time.
I have heard arguments about perfection and how people believe it’s achievable. I believe perfection is a worthy goal, but I am yet to meet a perfect man or woman. Or are you a perfect person too?
We are only assured of perfection when we are without our imperfect bodies when we are given new bodies in heaven. On earth, we would have bouts of perfect living by grace, but only God’s mercy upholds us when we fall short.
It’s best to see things from the right perspective or else you won’t even see yourself as someone that can help those you perceive to be perfect. You will always look to be on the receiving end of good from these people because you expect everything to be flawless with them.
I have been in leadership for a while and I can tell you how many leaders suffer from followers not seeing their leaders as people who lack and need help too. But once you can break out of the mindset of moulding people in ‘perfection’ boxes, you’ll find ways to be a blessing to them too.
I believe people can’t figure these things out because they haven’t even learnt to help people around them. You must know that your little could actually mean much more to others!
Here’s a good way to see those around you as imperfect, they could sound funny, but it helps you see the truth a lot clearly:
1. They actually poop (and it mostly smells just like yours)
2. They also have the same 24 hours as you do
3. They get really hungry, thirsty and tired
4. Some of them love SEX and have a lot of sexual energy that also needs to be released (The same konji that catches you catches them too)
5. They get really tempted in various ways, it could be more than yours
6. They have secret habits they are also trying to work on and are not proud of
7. They also CRY!
8. They also get heartbroken, discouraged, angry, frustrated, depressed, desperate, worried, and some even have suicidal thoughts
9. They don’t always make the best decisions
10. They sometimes are so broke, they won’t mind you buying them anything
11. They are clueless and need your help to figure things out
12. They also wish to not be judged as harshly by others
13. They fall sick and sometimes feel like giving up.
14. They need your prayers and words of encouragement.
Trust me, we can go on and on listing the things we all go through that others can’t believe we do. It’s interesting that your friends can expect you to be perfect yet you accept all their imperfections.
I must mention that seeing people’s imperfections should not be a reason to spite or disrespect them. For some people, once they start to see the human side of others, they begin to disrespect them, thinking to themselves “so they are just normal people like me, then why treat them specially?” May good sense fall on you soon!
Why do you avoid hanging around people who will disrespect you all day long because you are imperfect?
Learning to see imperfections and love people regardless is key in our day.
It is also important to note that our imperfections are not standing grounds for a lack of improvement and progress in key areas of our lives that need help. Seek to be closer to perfection than farther from it. You owe it to those around you to be better. Your improvement has its own way of improving those around you too.
You are unique and you have something great to offer to the world even with your flaws, go for it!
Thanks for reading
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