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Give People Around You The Chance To Be Adults

These days, I am noticing that there is a lot of smothering going on around as regarding friendships and relationships. This also concerns some areas of parenting as well.

I believe we have to talk about these things, so we can help each other to be strong.

I would explain so you have a better perspective. The thing is I am noticing on a higher level these days, that grownups or adults are still being treated like kids. The worst part is that these adults are also expecting to still be treated like kids. Imagine the irony of it all.

The reason why this is primarily happening is because too many people are being over pampered in their lives and with their decisions. No one is leaving them to actually learn from their mistakes and make them add all their experiences and learnings to make current life decisions.

You’ll meet friends who are consistently giving excuses for each other. “Ehn, the reason why she is acting like that is because she is never in a good mood. The reason why he is acting like this is because he doesn’t know how to act.”

I am talking about people who are not children or teenagers. So you have friends trying to consistently give excuses for what their friends are meant to take responsibility for.

They are busy taking the blame for another fully grownup’s bad habits and bad decisions, how is that meant to work?

If at every point, your friend, partner or child comes in contact with their weaknesses or shortcomings, you should not try to cover it for them or short circuit the process. Don’t let them become blind to their failures, or cover it us saying it is just a mistake.

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Don’t let them feel comfortable with their bad habits and say it is nothing. And then they leave their little boxes into the big world and experience no mercy for their bad habits they hadn’t learnt to control. No!

Let them see it for what it truly is so they can then deal with it.

If you are a grownup and you come around me, I will hold you accountable to the highest level as an adult. I am sorry but not so sorry, because I will expect you to act your age. I will watch how you respond to situations and challenges thrown at you. You are no longer a child and with adulthood there are new expectations.

Of course, I care about you and I want you to do well. But one thing I definitely won’t do is allow you to not see yourself. You can’t keep hiding and expecting others to cover for you. That’s definitely not how to grow.

You must take ownership and full responsibility of your life. You must also learn to allow your friends and others around you do so too when they start hiding under excuses.

Guess what you are doing when you attempt to save people all the time? You won’t ever let them come to a full understanding of all they have learnt. You also won’t help them learn to be sure in what they know because you are casting a doubt on their every move they make since you want to always have something to say.

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You are also not allowing them have the required experience too. Do you know some people will only understand some bits of advice that you give them only when they have had certain experiences? When they have the tough experiences they will think back retrospectively and your words will come back to them, not as advice anymore but as wisdom.

You need to take a chill pill and give them a chance, so that you can also be able to assess them.

Parents, teach your children that there are consequences for every decision. Teach them that the results they get in life are from the quality of the decisions they make. Teach them to know that they hold the reins of their lives and they must make the must of it.

Teach your kids to face consequences for doing both wrong and right. Since life will not show them mercy all the time, teach them how to deal with life’s hard knocks and disappointments. Let them know that freedom comes with responsibility and that they will have to own their decisions.

Let’s learn to tell each other hard truths, so we can get better and improve. Stop hiding behind flattery and nice sounding comments.

Give those around you a chance to be grown up and responsible. It is not your fault if as adults they refuse to change or work on themselves. It is not at your door if they choose to live a wayward life. And if it is so bad that you need to walk out of their lives to save yourself, then do so too. The pain that comes from this experience will teach them to do better in the future. Much better in fact.

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We need to build a strong and resilient generation, not a bunch of big babies but people who have learnt to eat challenges for breakfast.

People who are not afraid of pain but are grateful for it’s aftereffect on them and what they get to learn.

You too reading this, don’t allow yourself become overprotected by those around you. Learn to face your fears, failures and pain. Also learn to treat others as adults and not kids. Then watch how much growth they’ll experience.

Pain sometimes teaches the best lessons.

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I hope you learnt something from this post. Be sure to share what you’ve gotten from this

Victory Odunjo
Facebook: Victory Odunjo
Instagram: @victoryodunjo 
Twitter: @victoryodunjo

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