IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity and I Wish I Hadn't

This story is incomplete without this other story, also written by someone in a similar situation I Waited Until My Wedding To Lose My Virginity, and It’s the Best Thing I Ever Did . I advice that you read both for true balance and understanding.

“Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate and my future children to be sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship. As well as abstaining from sexual thoughts, sexual touching, pornography, and actions that are known to lead to sexual arousal.”

At the age of 10, I took a pledge at my church alongside a group of other girls to remain a virgin until marriage. Yes, you read that right — I was 10 years old.

Let’s take a look at who I was as a 10-year-old: I was in fourth grade. I played with Barbie dolls and had tea parties with imaginary friends. I pretended I was a mermaid every time I took a bath. I still thought boys were icky and I had no idea I liked girls, too. I wouldn’t get my period for another four years. And most importantly, I didn’t have a clue about sex.

The church taught me that sex was for married people. Extramarital sex was sinful and dirty and I would go to Hell if I did it. I learned that as a girl, I had a responsibility to my future husband to remain pure for him. It was entirely possible that my future husband wouldn’t remain pure for me, because he didn’t have that same responsibility, according to the Bible. And of course, because I was a Christian, I would forgive him for his past transgressions and fully give myself to him, body and soul.

Once I got married, it would be my duty to fulfill my husband’s sexual needs. I was told over and over again, so many times I lost count, that if I remained pure, my marriage would be blessed by God and if I didn’t that it would fall apart and end in tragic divorce.

I believed it. Why wouldn’t I? I was young and these were people I trusted. Everyone knew I’d taken the virginity vow, of course. Gossip is the lifeblood of the Baptist Church. My parents were so proud of me for making such a spiritual decision. The church congregation applauded my righteousness.

For more than a decade, I wore my virginity like a badge of honor. My church encouraged me to do so, saying my testimony would inspire other young girls to follow suit. If the topic ever came up in conversation, I was happy to let people know that I had taken a pledge of purity.

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It became my entire identity by the time I hit my teen years. When I met my then boyfriend-now husband, I told him right away that I was saving myself for marriage and he was fine with that because it was my body, my choice and he loved me.

We were together for six years before we got married. Any time we did anything remotely sexual, guilt overwhelmed me. I wondered where the line was because I was terrified to cross it. Was he allowed to touch my breasts? Could we look at each other naked? I didn’t know what was considered sexual enough to condemn my future marriage and send me straight to Hell.

An unhealthy mixture of pride, fear, and guilt helped me keep my pledge until we got married. In the weeks before our wedding, I often got congratulated on keeping my virginity for so long. The comments ranged from curious (how in the world did you manage?) to downright disgusting (I bet you’re going to have one busy wedding night!). I let them place me on the pedestal as their virginal, perfect-Christian-girl mascot.

I lost my virginity on my wedding night, with my husband, just as I had promised that day when I was 10 years old. I stood in the hotel bathroom beforehand, wearing my white lingerie, thinking, “I made it. I’m a good Christian.” There was no chorus of angels, no shining light from Heaven. It was just me and my husband in a dark room, fumbling with a condom and a bottle of lube for the first time.

Sex hurt. I knew it would. Everyone told me it would be uncomfortable the first time. What they didn’t tell me is that I would be back in the bathroom afterward, crying quietly for reasons I didn’t yet comprehend. They didn’t tell me that I’d be on my honeymoon, crying again, because sex felt dirty and wrong and sinful even though I was married and it was supposed to be okay now.

When we got home, I couldn’t look anyone in the eye. Everyone knew my virginity was gone. My parents, my church, my friends, my co-workers. They all knew I was soiled and tarnished. I wasn’t special anymore. My virginity had become such an essential part of my personality that I didn’t know who I was without it.

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It didn’t get better. I avoided undressing in front of my husband. I tried not to kiss him too often or too amorously so I wouldn’t lead him on. I dreaded bedtime. Maybe he’d want to have sex.

When he did, I obliged. I wanted nothing more than to make him happy because I loved him so much and because I’d been taught it was my duty to fulfill his needs. But I hated sex. Sometimes I cried myself to sleep because I wanted to like it, because it wasn’t fair. I had done everything right. I took the pledge and stayed true to it. Where was the blessed marriage I was promised?

I let it go on this way for almost two years before I broke down. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I told my husband everything. My feminist husband was horrified that I’d let him touch me when I didn’t want him to. He made me promise I’d never do anything I didn’t want to do ever again. We stopped having sex. He encouraged me to see a therapist and I did. It was the first step on a long journey to healing.

Ten-year-old girls want to believe in fairy tales. Take this pledge and God will love you so much and be so proud of you, they told me. If you wait to have sex until marriage, God will bring you a wonderful Christian husband and you’ll get married and live happily ever after, they said. Waiting didn’t give me a happily ever after. Instead, it controlled my identity for over a decade, landed me in therapy, and left me a stranger in my own skin. I was so completely ashamed of my body and my sexuality that it made having sex a demoralizing experience.

I don’t go to church anymore, nor am I religious. As I started to heal, I realized that I couldn’t figure out how to be both religious and sexual at the same time. I chose sex. Every single day is a battle to remember that my body belongs to me and not to the church of my childhood. I have to constantly remind myself that a pledge I took when I was only 10 doesn’t define who I am today. When I have sex with my husband, I make sure it’s because I have a sexual need and not because I feel I’m required to fulfill his desires.

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I’m now thoroughly convinced that the entire concept of virginity is used to control female sexuality. If I could go back, I would not wait. I would have sex with my then-boyfriend-now-husband and I wouldn’t go to hell for it. We would have gotten married at a more appropriate age and I would have kept my sexuality to myself.

Unfortunately, I can’t go back but I can give you this message as a culmination of my experiences: If you want to wait to have sex until marriage make sure it’s because you want to. It’s your body; it belongs to you, not your church. Your sexuality is nobody’s business but yours.

By Samantha Pugsley on www.xojane.com

Hmmmn, I came across this post yesterday and thought it would be important we discussed this. I don’t believe she is right, or that if she had the right knowledge she would be in her situation, the Bible is clear on things like fornication and adultery, and points it out as wrong. Sadly, Samantha is now an atheist because of her previous sexual beliefs. What do you think about this post? Do you agree? Or disagree? Or you agree and disagree? What do the scriptures really say about sex before and during marriage? Is the church really painting a dirty picture of sex to us that could affect us after we get married? Are we meant to be pro’s on our wedding night? What is the real truth about sex?

You should say something about this!! Kindly share your various views on this topic. As much as we don’t want to talk about this, it’s a reality. I would love us to drop clear responses, don’t assume anyone knows what your views are. Be sure to comment and  also remember that you can reply another persons comment. You could use anonymous or your initials if you so desire. Share this post too. Thanks 🙂 You could also check out My Situation After Sex. The follow up post to this is also now out I Waited Until My Wedding To Lose My Virginity, and It’s the Best Thing I Ever Did

You can reach me on:
Facebook: Vctory Odunjo
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Victory Odunjo

I'm a people person that simply wants to add value, and inspire others..

38 thoughts on “IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity and I Wish I Hadn't”

  1. In my opinion, sex before marriage is wrong, I agree with what she said at the end that “the choice to remain a virgin should be urs”,but let’s remember that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and we shouldn’t defile it, what most people don’t know is that sex is not just physical but highly spiritual as well, when u have sex with someone u take a part of that person, we should avoid complicating our lives, I know that our generation today is highly sexually active but with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can keep ourselves, even when u get tempted and actually fall, when u go back to God, He is always ready to take u back. 🙂

  2. Parents in my opinion should not allow their 10 year old children to be making such a decision without first educating them on what sex is all about. She is just one of many who have been taught false doctrines; doctrines borne out of fear and not out of love. I took a similar pledge as a guy and my mother drilled me in sex education so that I knew what I wad getting into. And till now nothing has changed. Knowledge is power and anything borne out of fear would breed nothing but problems in your life. Selah.

  3. The church doesn’t know how much influence it has over some of its girls (at least those that allow themselves to be influenced).It goes without saying that our bodies are temples of God and shd be kept thus, but is it right for the church to make one believe that an individual is doomed if he or she isnt a virgin by their wedding night?(yes, there are some guys that are virgins too) no I dont think so. Its totally unfair to anyone not to be able to enjoy sex in the context of marriage bcos of what they have been taught by the church over the years. keeping your virginity shd be a vow to
    God and not fear of what man will think if you didnt.

  4. Hmm! This is sooo deep. U know I was discussing some sexual issues wit my soon-to-wed friend and she reacted sharply then I had to sit her down and lecture her on sex and sexuality. Yes, it’s so true that d church makes us feel guilty and almost coerce us into taking virginity pledges, they even make sex sound dirty and forbiden to the extent that even after marriage, sex still doesn’t seem right. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against the scriptures, infact I support God’s view on marriage and sex 100%, but can the church stop talking down sexual acts pls? I get their point, they want a congregation of sexually purified ppl but then can they just tell ppl around them that sex is sweet in marriage and that God told singles to wait cos sex outside marriage CAN and WILL complicate your lifes and that sex is sweet whether married or not just that the consequence for unmarried ppl can be grave. This pertial and distorted information about sex has destroyed many marriages. Let d church stop shying away from what needs to be taught and said.

  5. This is a very important post. My mother taught me about sex. Sex is beautiful. Sex was created by God and it glorifies God when done in its proper context. Sex outside marriage is ugly. Sex in marriage is beautiful. The act of sex is something that a couple is supposed to enjoy and practice when married.

    1. hi Marci, your body is the temple of God, defiling your body by having sex before marriage is defiling the temple of GOD. in this modern world, everybody feels they can have sex with whomever they desire,in fact people often mock virgins but i tell you the truth, sex outside marriage is called fornication which is a sin against God and is punishable by God which is going to hell after death. keep yourself for your husband or wife not just for you to feel holy and sanctified and self-righteous but because it is pleasing to God and pleasing God is meant to be the ultimate reason we exist.

  6. The foundation was the problem.Its one of 2 things.Either they didn’t teach the issue of purity properly or they didn’t communicate it to her properly. Which boils down to the misunderstanding.

    1. Wisdom is the principal thing,but with all thy getting,get understanding. It is wisdom to keep ur purity,but if u don’t get the understanding behind it, you would. Have huge challenges.

  7. As the writer says, many girls have been indoctrinated by their mothers and churches that sex is a dirty, revolting act that only lechers and sluts enjoy and sends you to hell. I suspect this started as a scare tactic to prevent unmarried girls from getting pregnant before birth control was available. It just keeps poisoning one generation after another.

    Meanwhile, boys are indoctrinated by Playboy-type magazines and popular media that they’re entitled to sex-on-demand with air-brushed, boobalicious women who crave “adventurous” sex, and that girls who refuse are frigid and stunted by religion. The motivation here is obvious: sell more magazines/products by pandering to this fantasy.

    I’ve seen both of these distortions do lasting damage to individuals and marriages. Women struggle to enjoy sex with their husbands and guys are dissatisfied with the real-life women they marry.

    I don’t think the answer is to chuck out the church or to jump into the sack with a guy as soon as you feel the urge. Waiting for marriage is still the best plan for lots of reasons. But false fear and distorted views of the pleasures of sex shouldn’t be among those reasons.

  8. Having sex before marriage is not a wrong choice but as a christian you must keep it and God has different plan for everybody and God has already knw when, where how and who is gonna disflower u, you ll only tell God to give u d strenght and power to do it with d right person at the right time.

  9. Well…..I bliv we are all christians so let’s compare samantha and joseph (I think we all agree that they were both virgins as teenagers)…wat made their experiences vary is one word and that is ‘why’ cos the reason why they kept their virginities were different….samantha kept hers cos of fear….in other words, there ws no conviction within herself that was connected to God…..she ws simply religious and had no relationship with God…..Joseph on the other hand showed us his ‘why’ in genesis 39: 9 in the statement ‘ how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?’….that wasn’t a statement of fear but of love cos he didn’t even say ‘sin against potiphar’….in other words, I don’t want to get God upset or disappointed by doing this! Joseph had a working relationship with God and I’m sure must hav felt rili gud on his wedding night cos he cud see God’s thumbs up….in summary….no matter the vow u make whether in sex or in drink or anything @ all, always hav it in mind that if its done out of religion, it wud always end without true fulfilment but if its done out of love and relationship wit God, then victory wud be sweet. As for samantha the atheist, it means she never rili knew God…I pray she finds Him!

  10. I believe that sex before marriage is wrong for both male and female. But to say your body belong to you is personally to me a wrong notion. If your body belongs to you,then cut of your hand and creat a new one. (Psalm 100:3) I believe anything you do, we should do unto God and not to man Col 3:23. Keeping one’s virginity should be to the glory of God and not to please man.

  11. I agree with her until the point of turning atheist tho. Sorry to say but the church of today coarse people into obeying the bible more through fear than through understanding God. Our body is the temple of God. What really does the sentence mean? Many don’t really know. Sorry her case ended that way but I believe the church needs to get more practical and less spiritual in its explaining Gods word. I see victims of this teaching in different spheres of life daily. #justSayingTho

  12. Sex itself is NOT sin. Only when done out of marriage and with another person your not married to.
    Personally, I think churches and people alike should stop making virginity seem like the ultimate sin if its broken to females. Yes, it is a sin (outside marriage),ie. fornication. But it ranks in the same “level” as lying, stealing, murder, adultery, idol worshipping, rape, etc. There is no greater sin…sin is sin! Losing your virginity/fornication doesn’t make you tainted or not pure…it’s sin that makes us not pure. And it so happens that they fall under d category of sin. And our loving God forgives ALL be it fornication, adultery, lying, murder, etc. But as the Bible says we shouldn’t keep on sinning just because God’s grace abounds. So if people want to lord the issue of virginity over girls…emphasis should be equally placed on other sins. Why can’t the feeling of shame and guilt come just as easily when we lie, when we covet, when we disrespect???? *Indeed narrow is the way that leads to heaven. A mindshift is truly needed in our world and in churches nowadays* And why isn’t it drummed into d ears of our boys/men???? When God commanded against fornication, did He refer only to girls…or everyone????
    Also we need to stop making them feel like rejects after the deed is done. Who are we to judge anyway? *Then again if they know their God and where they stand as His child, they’ll know there’s total forgiveness with God…no matter the faces of disgust at church or wherever*
    Also, it should be done in love not fear. That’s why young people fall prey to these sex media easliy. They’ve been told all their lives that sex is horrible and shameful. Meanwhile the media says the opposite(mind you d media is practically accessible anywhere). Obviously they get curious…and in these days where young people consult media, sites, techs n devices even b4 God or elders. *If you really think about it, it MIGHT even be a one of d tricks d devil has up his sleeves …parents terrorize n scare children bout sex, he makes every medium available where they can get access to sexual stuff (even while checking ur mails, your tempted with sexchats n nude pics), d child ends up doing d exact opposite of d parent* The world has reached a place where sex is no big issue…even a new born baby can easily hear explicit words or see nude pictures or sexually enticing stuff on tv/net.
    Let’s arm this generation n d next with good knowledge…sex education, history, when its wrong and when its right, God’s love n perfect plans, consequences outside marriage, etc….and not with fear!

    Oooops! I said too much x_x 🙂

  13. Im so sorry you dealt with those issues. However, instead of going the opposite direction and totally giving up on God, you should have learned the truth from God’s word that sex is beautiful and wonderful and holy when it is between a husband and wife, and learned to embrace it. There is no reason you cant wait until marriage and have a totally fulfilling and healthy sex life, as well as a holy relationship with God. My husband was 29 when we got married, and the only time he had ever touched a woman was to take the hand of the girl he had been engaged to for 3 yrs when they would pray for meals, yet we have a VERY healthy an happy sex life.

  14. Firstly,It’s really an interesting story. My take on it is virginity is a woman’s pride and it belongs to the woman. Whatever she decides to do with it is her choice and not the church’s. I believe in keeping yourself till your wedding night but I also believe if you meet someone you love and loves you back genuinely then giving that sacred part of you at that moment even if it’s not on your wedding night,shouldn’t be an issue.most people get married and can’t differentiate between sex and love making because they just believe sex is a requirement in marrige. In summary, virginity is important but the manner through which it is lost is more important

  15. A very important word i came across recently:
    As a christian;
    Your body is not yours. You are not your own. Rather, you are never your own.
    As a Single, your body belongs to the Lord. When married, your body belongs to your husband.
    All you are to do is to protect yourself for the right time, and this is achieved by having the right mindset. When you realise that its not all about you, the sex will begin to make sense.
    Lets try to get it right as christians.
    Premarital sex is not right.
    True love waits. Yes, its difficult, but its worth it.

  16. I dont blame d girl nd at d same time, i blame her. First, d false nd fearful doctrine her church instilled in her wld make any girl think twice befor having sex before marriage. And i also blame her bcos, as she had grown, doesnt she know how to pray and meditate on God word? If she had read her bible, even at that tender age, dat she made such a vow, i know God is rily merciful, nd full of love, He wld hv helped her expand His word to her understanding. I dont support sex before marriage, bcos my parents told me it is a sin before God right from wen i was little, church preached against it, i didnt stop there, i had to satisfy my curiosity as to y its wrong, nd d bible provided a gud answer. I searched nd read…….. She has no excuse whatsoeva to bcome an atheists just bcos her church said……….. Den it means right from the time she started to rily mature, she neva served God……… Anyways may God help every individual, specially me……..

  17. keeping ur virginity till marriage is a thing of joy …..so if a woman is feeling sad or something abt having her first sex experience then I think that woman is really really sick in her spirit..

  18. I don’t think the issue here is whether sex before marriage is right or wrong, the Bible is very clear about that. however your decision to keep yourself sexually pure till you are married should be borne out of a sense of understanding of why you are taking such decision.if the foundation of a decision is faulty you will definitely not enjoy the end result. i’m 26 yrs old and still a virgin and i don’t regret being one. Living up to the expectations of others especially when you are in a position of leadership and you have younger ones looking up to you as a role model can be over whelming that’s why you need to have a personal understanding of the decision you make. i believe you can have a healthy and enjoyable sex life after marriage if anyone so decides to be a virgin till then. it’s good you understand your sexuality(male or female) before you marry, know God’s mind about sex besides the fact that is fornication if done out of marriage, read about Sex, talk about it if necessary, see the beautiful side of sex….. judging by the writers experience, she got married with the mindset that sex is wrong,bad and should not be enjoyed but done as a responsibility, which is totally wrong. that is where counselling before marriage comes in and also a personal drive to seek knowledge..it’s sad that you’ve given up on God and the Church, i hope people will through your experience seek out a personal relationship with God and the Holy Spirit and not be religious, and will live to enjoy the fullness of life Christ died for. God is God and His standard remains sure

  19. This lady never knew God. Our faith is in God not in one dicipline, obedience in God’s word is better than sacrifise,well i read her alright,but if you want the truth. The bible says when the holy-spirit shall come, he will teach you all things and guide you in all truth.

  20. wow
    i must say am touched and grieved at the same time
    all said and done sex before marriage is a sin so i would never advocate for it, but the choice to remain a virgin ,i must agree with the writer must be yours and yours alone not your church.
    It is a shame that she had to quit her Christianity
    Am 21 and not only have i remained a virgin i have never had a girlfriend,why because i made a promise to myself that until i am independent of my parents i would not enter a relationship, It was my choice once i saw all the funny relationship a lot of my peers are where getting into.
    Also i won,t advocate teaching 10 year’s old about sex ,that is wrong they have a lot of other thing s to know , maybe in their teens but definitely not ten years old.
    The CHURCH i must confess are not helping matters when it comes to sex ,people generally shy away from the issue, but i think this should really be addressed because our generation is very sexually active and one way this can be discussed is on a group level, of maybe 7-10 people.
    in my group we once had a discussion whether we can kiss before marriage and you would be surprised the responses we were getting

  21. hmm entirely speechless. i think a 10 year old should not be asked to do things without giving a full explanation on why she shouldn’t do it. it’s everyone’s choice to choose if they want to be a virgin till the wedding night.

  22. THIS TOPIC IS VERY INTERESTING AND I THINK IRRESPECTIVE OF YOUR OPINIONS THE TRUTH REMAINS TRUE. God please you as you read the following note from the truth I got from http://www.answersingenesis.org, Enjoy!

    Your body—a gift from God—your most precious gift to your spouse
    by Frost Smith on March 29, 2007

    Nobody likes a regifter. Have you ever received a gift that you either didn’t like or had no use for? It sat unopened in your closet or drawer for months. Then your best friend’s birthday came up—he or she could really use the item. Should you give it to your friend? Well, the answer is yes—but not for a birthday present. How would your friend feel if he or she found out that you “regifted” your old gift as if it were “new” and “just for him or her”? This could be likened to Ananias and Sapphira giving some of the money from the sale of their land but behaving as if it were all of it. Their giving of “some” was fine; the sin was in their presentation as “all”—a deception (Acts 5).

    Now, let’s take this to a different level. Is your body your own? Scripture tells us that it’s not—it is God’s (1 Corinthians 6:19). When you marry, He says that it also belongs to your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:4). Since your body ultimately belongs to your Creator (and your spouse), what right do you have to give it to someone else?

    Additionally, imagine yourself asking your future spouse if you have permission to “use” your body with another first. What would he or she say? What would you say if you were asked? When it comes time to give your body to him or her, are you being worse than a regifter? You’ve used that gift—and now you’re going to give it to the most important person in your life as a “special” gift? How “special” is that?!

    But, We Love Each Other
    But what if you love your boyfriend (or girlfriend), and he or she loves you? You may even have plans to get married. Isn’t it worth waiting—primarily to be obedient to God? Yes, God forbids sex before marriage. Don’t kid yourself. There’s no question about it—it’s not a “grey area” sort of thing. But don’t take my word for it; read 1 Corinthians 7 and Ephesians 5:3.

    Why Does God Care What I Do With My Body?
    God has a special plan regarding marriage. One that is very dear to Him, and one that we should not want to defile.

    God intended marriage to be a symbol (with the additional benefits of being for companionship and procreation). It was set up in Genesis 1 & 2, corrupted in Genesis 3, and then restored and perfected in Christ. We have the privilege of being a part of this beautiful symbolism, explained clearly in Ephesians 5:25–29:

    Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church.
    Note that the bride is presented holy and without blemish (verse 27). How can the “bride” wear “white” when she’s given her body already in an unholy act prior to the ceremony? And don’t be deceived, men: you are also the bride of Christ and commanded to keep your chastity. The symbolism is of Christ as the husband and the whole Church—male and female—as the bride. Speaking to the Church, Paul says, “For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have betrothed you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ” (2 Corinthians 11:2).

    But What If I’ve Already Sinned Sexually?
    First, you must seek the forgiveness that God so graciously provides. There are no sins so big that Christ’s blood cannot cover them. But you must turn from the sin (that means not continuing in the sin). And God has provided freedom from the bondage of sin so that we are able to turn from it. Paul exhorts us in Romans 6:

    What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? … In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
    Honor God with Your Body
    We must put away sexual sin because it is particularly dangerous. (ChristianAnswers.Net offers some practical pointers on how to keep yourself pure while looking or waiting for your spouse.) Paul warns:

    Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body (1 Corinthians 6:18–20).
    That’s right. Honor God with your body. Your body is important to God. We can honor or dishonor Him with it. Many don’t want any part of Christianity because they see no difference between Christians and the world. This is one of those areas that our conduct can speak volumes and honor God greatly—or, sadly, the opposite can occur.

    Let me leave you with this thought: Solomon, the wisest man that ever existed, in Proverbs 13:15 says, “Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard [my emphasis].” One needs only look around briefly to see the pain and death (yes, death in the form of abortion and STDs) that playing around with sex leaves in its wake. Solomon gives a stern warning about sexual sin in Proverbs 5, but in this chapter he also shares the alternative, wise path—one filled with blessing, pleasure, and peace. I exhort you to choose the wise path and only “rejoice with the wife [or husband] of thy youth (Proverbs 5:18).”

  23. dis doesnt sound to me as something to be confused abt. The Bible is our standard. the reason she doesnt want to lose her virginity is left to her. perhaps, she took it too seriously. bt her sharing dis story and trying to mislead women is wt i personally will nt take. happy new year.

  24. For crying out loud this message is so wrong…what kind of message is this.ah ah,are we now saying the God who said it in His word,was wrong…that lady in all frankness knows what was wrong with her outside having sex.maybe she didn’t love Him,or she may be a lesbian.when a lady gets married even before then,she itches for that right moment in marriage to give her husband her body,how much more now that moment has come,she says she’s wateva….
    Use your head people,many people alongside myself stick to this principle and it works for me,wen u keep and tell your partner sex only after marriage,mehn he “trusts u”…no room for suspection wen ur with other guys.
    Relationship/courtship was meant for us to relate with one another,know the personality,and whether u can couple with the character.when sex comes in,it’s fun beclouds ur vision on the persons original identity.
    Any real man wouldn’t mind that principle,coz his sure to come back from any trip and find his woman in the right place,coz they didn’t break the rules while dating.
    What of Gods blessing that follows obedience.u peeps better know what’s right so u can pick out wats wrong message,for me this story isn’t straight,she left out other lines.
    I have learnt from Bishop David Oyedepo and Pastor Paul Eneche.

  25. Sad story; may God bring her back to Himself!
    As for her, she kept her virginity for the wrong reasons; she said it herself. Sorry to say, she wasn’t keeping her virginity for her husband, but for people’s talks. That was why, even after loosing it to her husband, she was still concerned about other people’s comments. For goodness sake, who looks at a married woman as dirty, just because she has lost her virginity; more to it, to her husband. It was all in her head, due to the wrong reasons she had, in keeping her virginity. It has nothing to do with church.

  26. God bless everyone dat has commented…dere is no shortcut..sex before marriage is a sin….nutin can change dat…but wat we ladies should understand abt it is be educated and informed be4 u get into marriage. …wat hapined to d writer is psycological….most ladies end up sad and miserable cos dey got married as virgins. .
    major point is sex aint fun to dem…y? Dey are STIFF! And den take solace in child bearing and church activities……nahhhhhhh! sex education before marriage is key. ..let it b part of d counselling…pastors!may God help us

  27. All i can say is this, differentiate between , sex, fornication and adultery, SEX is good, but fornication and adultery isn’t, rather it is the wrong practice of sex

  28. We shouldn’t do things and make commitments because people and the church require us to, we should make committments because God requires us to. We’re all pressured within and especially outside the church but we shouldn’t forget that that our journey is about a relationship with God first, before any other thing.

    P.s. I hope the writer of this article discovers God for herself through the Bible not what religion has made her believe. He is so sweet once you’ve discovered who He is for yourself.

  29. Keeping our virginity should be for us, as a committment and devotion to God. The lady made a good decision but lacked the right knowledge about it. I have heard about women not been able to cope with sex after remaining virgins till marriage. Let’s seek the right knowledge, read books, be enlightened. God help us all.