I must confess that very few people have an intention of doing this. I mean abstaining from sex until the night of the wedding. I’m not referring to virgins alone, I am also referring to people that have had sex at some point in their lives, but now have the conviction to keep themselves pure until marriage. In our world today, this seems like an impossibility, everything is about sex, even the blind see it and the deaf hear of it. You’ll totally be out of tune with the world we live in not to see the pressure building when it comes to sex. Now it’s increasing, sex is not between people of different genders any more, there’s gay sex now. So another sex dimension is added to our usual natural knowledge of what sex should be about.
As much as it’s a good thing to be able to fight against these waves of sexual pressure that we come across whether in movies, songs, music videos, adverts, colleagues at work or even people on the street, there is something that you must be sure of: Your true root of reason. Why exactly are you trying to stay away from having sex? If you don’t ask yourself and know why, the world will ask you, hopefully it won’t be in a tempting situation that you end up making a wrong choice.
I for one, and many others believe in what God’s word says about sex being only in the boundaries of marriage and with ones spouse. It’s a sin to have sex with anyone else. As simple as this instruction God gave is, many people have found it difficult to obey. I’m not God, and I’m not the one in charge of dishing out the rewards of sin, but I can tell you that it pays to obey God.
Have you ever thought of the truth, that your natural body urges for sex was created by God? All your hormones were God made, the desire for sex too. God also made attraction. However you feel isn’t totally strange to God, and the same God that said you should wait to get married knew it was possible. So it’s time to strengthen your resolve. I know that many people have decided to stay on the side of the fence relating to obeying God more and they also want to have that taste of sex too. Masturbation, pornography, sexual imaginations and dreams are very common among unmarried people because they need to find a way to ease out the sexual pressure building up in them without actually having sex.
Actually, lusting after someone else in your heart is sin, and is just as good as having slept with the person. People are then down with new addictions that they struggle to get out of. They are bound simply because they were trying to ‘obey’ God. It’s not good enough! If you fall in these shoes, I want you to know that God’s grace for you is BIG enough to free you from those thoughts and addictions and make you live freely while waiting for your marriage. It’s possible.
I’ll finally like to address a mentality I find many ‘waiting for marriage for sex’ people have. It’s a mentality that seems to happen unconsciously or for some naturally. Due to lack of sex, experience or enough exposure, most unmarried people have the richest of thoughts concerning how their sex life in their marriages would be. Some of those thoughts are rightly permitted, why shouldn’t you think of how wonderful your sex life in marriage would be, it’s important to.
But I then see people start to cross the line a little bit and then sometimes a lot. They start to think that marriage is all about sex. They find it hard to see differently, the other areas that matter about marriage. So they close their eyes towards the other areas that are needed in marriage and they blindly walk to the altar. They get into marriage, have as much sex as they need or that they think they missed and afterwards they get tired.
Yeah I said TIRED! You don’t think one can get tired of sex eh, oh the movies and songs didn’t show you that side? You actually do get tired at some point.. It’s why people that sleep around don’t stay with just one partner, they have so many of them. They actually do get tired. You will get married and would have sex with only one person for the rest of your life. You’ll get tired and will realize that sex is not the only substance marriage is made of.
Sex will not put food on your table, tell you how your spouse’s day has been, neither will it raise your kids in a godly manner. Sex wouldn’t inspire you, motivate you, support you to be a better person, it won’t be the strength when you are weak, or the face you see every morning you wake up in bed, it won’t inspire you to draw closer to God. The natural result of sex is children. Are you ready? Is your spouse ready? It is totally your duty to spice up your sex life so that it’s not just monotonous or ‘missionary’ all the time. Sex is your duty to your spouse, but is it all there is to your marital life? I don’t think so.
God made sex in marriage for a purpose, and commitment to one person for a reason as well. We are just a picture of who the church is to Jesus. We are his bride, he is committed to us, joined to us and he is not going anywhere, even in spite of our imperfections, he’s helping us get better.
I assure you, you can make it to marriage without having sex, you can live a life that is all about pleasing God, you can choose to see your marriage way beyond sex, you can choose to make better choices that will benefit your tomorrow and also that of your children. It’s totally up to you whatever you choose to do. Never forget, that God is with you always. He will help you, and will help everyone that need his help; including me.
Thanks for taking the time to read!
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