My SituationSocial

My Situation: Dealing With Lies

If you are a little like me then you’ll have told lies before. Lies seem to be very easy to tell, as easy as telling an alternate story. Interestingly, there are different kinds of lies:

– The BIG lie
– The small lie
– The white lie
– The black lie
– The grey lie
– The exaggeration lie
– The almost the truth lie
– The I omitted some part of the truth lie and many others..

Everyone has told lies at some point. If you haven’t told a lie in your life, then our world doesn’t deserve you at all. You are probably an angel just living among men. I greet you specially. But we all know the truth, for you to not have told a lie is a lie on its own.

Now, we all have different reasons for lying. And people lie to different degrees as well. There are people who as high as 70% of the words that come out of their mouths are lies, while there are some that only a little 5% are lies. The sad thing is lies are lies anyway, big or small.

One of the main reasons why I remember lying a lot is because I hated punishment or to be put in a tight spot. I wanted to live a free life void of consequences. No one wants pain or hardship, and neither did I. So in situations where I was to get punished for something, if I had a chance to open my mouth, a lie would come out to reduce the effect.

I can remember this clearly from secondary school days and growing up too. Guess what? Getting caught for lying didn’t stop me from telling more lies. In fact, I was learning how to lie better, like not telling too many stories, so that the lie would not be too difficult to remember. I’m sure you can relate in some way.

Another major reason why I told lies and many of us do, is to feel among and not feel like an outcast. I battled with peer pressure in my early days. Just imagine being the laughing stock of the class because you told the truth, it never leaves you. And these days, it’s very easy to be the different person in a room when you don’t want to.

So rather than let people keep you in a box, or treat you like you aren’t a part of what is being discussed, you simply lie just a little bit to show how close you are to their reality. We can term this as “the fear of not being among.”

Then comes a major part where the exaggeration lie comes to play. It happens when you feel like you have something to prove at all cost to those around you. There’s the truth and there’s adding all the spices and ingredients to the truth to make it more than it is or to make it more delicious. Or it could be removing more parts of the truth so that the truth loses some weight without exercising.

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Now we all know lying is wrong in every sense. We hate it when we are lied to because lies cause a lot of damage too. It is serious. The consequences of lies range from very little issues to the ones that affect people and can never be forgotten. I hope you aren’t a chronic liar that can’t but tell a lie every day? There’s a part of everyone that desires the truth, and this is why we know it the very moment we tell a lie.

Bringing it to the faith angle, one thing clear as day in the Bible is God hates lies. The Bible says God hates a lying tongue just as much as those that shed innocent blood (Prov. 6:16-19). Imagine God says those who lie and those who kill innocent people are on the same level. Scriptures even go further to say liars will perish in hell, it’s so scary! The scriptures say the devil is the father of all liars, that on its own is another angle.

Still, with this knowledge, we still don’t stop lying even though we know it’s wrong. For many of us, it has become such a way of life that it no longer looks like sin, it just looks like a life survival skill. Now, my writing this article is not to claim perfection, but that we examine this issue together and see one of the means that can help you be more confident to speak the truth, it helped me too.

It started with me having to take note of how frequently I told lies, and it was a little regular. I also realized that I didn’t feel too remorse about lying a lot of times. So I told myself that every time I lied, I didn’t make God pleased. I decided I was going to apologize to God any time I lied, asking for help to be stronger in the face of the temptation to lie.

I did so and it brought me to a level of consciousness of my words. I came to this point after an experience made me lie in order to protect myself from stress and I really just wanted peace of mind. I wasn’t proud of myself for lying at all. But I was improving at telling the truth, I still am..

I had a sort of breakthrough one day when I was having a discussion with my dad. By the way, my dad is someone who has learnt to tell the truth no matter the cost. I can say this because I lived with him as a son for a major part of my life.

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I know the kinds of punishments and tough situations he has had to go through because he won’t just tell a little white lie. There are times when I was younger, I will wish he would just lie to reduce the gravity of the situation to save me, but no, he’ll tell the truth exactly the way it was, even if it made him look bad.

Of course, that made my punishments commensurate to my wrongs. I never really understood it or why. But now I realize it takes a lot of boldness to take such a stand for the truth and I respect him for that.

On this day, I had some insight into my dad’s mindset and philosophy on why he told the truth so much during a conversation. He said some profound things that rearranged my mind concerning this matter. He said:

“Every time you are tempted to tell a lie, you are in a battle between pleasing God and pleasing man. The moment you lie, you have chosen to place God under because you wanted to please a man. And since you love God, nothing should matter as much as pleasing him at all costs.

Even if your telling the truth leads to punishment or being mocked or attacked, which is all we all fear, be sure that God is going to stand by you through the tough situation and see you through because you have placed His desires for you over that of the expectation of others.

Every time you lie to save yourself or look better, or to make yourself look good, you are simply living to please people and not God. You could even later get in trouble for lying and those you are trying to please turn on you or are nowhere to be found.

So knowing you will always tell the truth will affect how truthfully you live your life, knowing fully well that if you are asked about anything, you are going to tell the truth. It naturally keeps you from situations you won’t be proud of, it will make others respect you because you can be counted on, and it’ll make God pleased with you, above all.”

Whoa, I heard those words in that discussion, and it was actually mentioned in passing. I grabbed these thoughts immediately and examined the validity of these words in my life and I found out that I was a people pleaser who cared so much about even things people thought about me that I couldn’t change and even the ones I could.

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I wasn’t bringing God into the equation for every lie I told. It’s better to be laughed at, downtrodden or disrespected, punished, even to lose the best opportunities if you speak the truth and are living the truth. It honestly made me own my life and my decisions. Why was I meant to be afraid of what anything anyone had to say about what was true about me?

If they are so concerned, why can’t they take real steps to help, rather than speak in hush tones against me? I’ve gotten to that point where if people can’t accept the truth, I’m totally fine by it. But I won’t keep lying in a bid to please others or make them feel pleased about me.

Can the big opportunities you need to lie about to get be the will of God? People will say you are not being sharp by telling the truth, but are you guys aren’t pleasing the same God!

We must also believe God is able to bring all the good we need in our lives, by the truths we tell. God is powerful enough to do the most with your little. Not that we will go and give testimonies founded on a lie or deception.

And though it really isn’t the easiest thing because in the moments I fall short, it becomes a mistake I am not proud of, rather than a way of life.

Yeah, so that’s my personal experience. I decided to make it a little personal so you could see this battle against lies isn’t one you are facing alone. There is surely a way out.

I hope the truths and experiences shared here give you the empowerment, courage, and boldness to live your life with honesty and truth. It’ll really transform you and the world we live in, as we need to have the true people we can count on. I hope that’s you!

Thanks for reading.

Victory Odunjo
Facebook: Vctory Odunjo Instagram: @victoryodunjo Twitter: @victoryodunjo

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If this post blessed you or you learned a thing or two, please drop a comment and share with at least one person.  How do you deal with telling lies and standing for the truth?

There other interesting posts in the My Situation Series:
My Situation: After Sex
My Situation: I And The Church’s Offerings

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2 thoughts on “My Situation: Dealing With Lies”

  1. Thank you, Victory! I want to live my life with honesty and truth. I’ll make consious steps towards living that way from now on.

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