Oh you are welcome, thanks for visiting. I can see some single to stupor brothers and sisters logging in. Great to have you here, I’m sure quite a number of us need answers.
This singleness journey no be beans, who send us work o? Yeah, it’s something to actually stay single and not carry a spoon to be tasting different relationship soups. Like I said in this special article You Will Marry Who You Date Closest To Your Wedding, some people end up dating about 8 people before finally marrying. This simply happens because people tend to get into relationships before they are actually ready.
But today, we’ll be exploring another angle that has caused many of us heartbreak and disappointments. If there was a way we could go about it, we would probably be with the best partners right now. Imperfect partners are the ‘reason’ for the singleness of many of us. Sadly, it isn’t easy to deal with someone who isn’t perfect and has so many shortcomings. Just one major flaw can get the relationship flat on its face.
If we could just get a perfect partner, things would be much better, won’t it?
Just imagine this for one second, someone whose breath doesn’t smell in the mornings, their smile makes the sun’s brightness like the moon’s shadow, and even the sound of their voices makes nightingales have low self-esteem.
I can hear you already say “Oh Victory, get serious. We know you can’t have someone that has these kinds of features, it’s too basic, we are talking of the higher things”.
Okay then, let’s visit other features like your perfect partner being kind ALL of the time, never has a mood swing, is ALWAYS selfless, would love you more than himself and support more than you can imagine. This person will never allow an argument to happen and will treat you perfectly like a King or Queen in all situations. There would be no need for you to teach her anything, neither will there be a need for you to correct him. This is the readymade kind of person you are talking of, right?
You want someone who will bring you breakfast in bed and a wonderful foot massage right at the end of every long and tiring day. This person is a sex god when you guys get down, you know 😉 (Don’t go all spiritual of me right now. Lol. Sex is for when you are married o). I mean, this person is practically your thoughts and desires in human form, no changes, just perfect. A spanking hot character and spiritual life, doesn’t have any issues or challenges! We can go on and on listing more.
Can you put your checklist down for one minute, please? I have a quick question to ask you briefly: Since you are looking for a perfect partner, I want to ask “are you perfect?” In your personal life, do you think you sometimes struggle and there are many parts of you that you need to work on? Do you sometimes correct yourself and tell yourself you can do better in some situations?
If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then you surely aren’t perfect. Why then in your mind are you having an expectation of someone who is perfect or very close to being that?
We ask ourselves why can’t we just find someone perfect that will not stress us out, and are wondering why haven’t we found them since? Well, they may be around you, but some kind of imperfection they have may be putting you off in some way.
Maybe she’s going through a tough phase and can’t look all glamorous with her makeup and dressing, but she has the best heart and character you see around. Instead, it’s the slay queens that will slay your heart and leave you hanging that you want.
He may just be in a stage where he’s starting a journey to enter the fullness of what God has in store for him, but what you see is a guy without a fancy car and how your future is going to look when you are moving around in cabs and in a small house. It’s not every time imperfection has to do with character, it could sometimes have to do with life’s position.
You are here seeking for an ideal person that can be found only in special places. I’ll tell you where to find your perfect soulmate soon, stay with me.
I’m not asking that you throw away your expectations of this person’s proper values in the name of them being imperfect. You can’t have a cheating woman or man and you are saying that’s an imperfection you want to live with for the rest of your life. If you love them so much, why not let them be free to get help first, rather than you being a codependent to all these unpleasing traits that they have?
Maybe if we could take away the word ‘perfect’, it would help us understand where we are coming from and where we want to be concerning this matter.
How do you define a perfect partner? Whatever features you mention would most likely be particular to you! If you present these things to another person, your list could seem pretty imperfect to them. That’s because what they see as ideal could differ from yours in many ways.
Your kind of perfect is actually not perfect, but it could be perfect for you. But yet, as long as the person is human then he is naturally imperfect. Where then does that put you concerning the so-called perfect partner?
Ever happened to you that someone you love(d) said something like “You are perfect for me” and somewhere in your heart you actually appreciate the sweetness of the comment and at the same time say to yourself, “I’m not even perfect at all.” Yeah, that’s funny, right? Perfection is actually an illusion (more of this in another post).
The little secret is that there is only one place you’ll find someone perfect. To be honest, choosing from there would be the best option for you and me. The location is called heaven. 😉
That’s because everyone will have a new and perfect body that doesn’t have the capacity to sin or do wrong, there’s just love over there.
Sadly, there are no marriages in heaven. Even those who were previously married on earth are no longer married to each other in heaven, everyone has literally married God. Remember we are His bride and He is the groom. Sorry about that. Lol
Yeah, so what you can do now is to do your best to learn how to see people for who they truly are before taking any move as pertaining to a love relationship or marriage with them. I know this can be dicey because, in our time, people have learned to show themselves outwardly as what they aren’t inwardly. Surely what’s inward will always defeat what’s expressed outwardly. Here’s why you hear people say things about others living a fake life.
Ensure that you know what qualities you are looking for in your spouse, and if you failed before in getting the one ‘perfect’ for you, give it another try.
The interesting thing is you both have to be ‘perfect’ for each other.
We all know this means you both being totally imperfect in the nicest ways possible that blend your rough edges together so you can achieve a lot together.
A quick word for those who don’t know how to let go, and those who like to see things through even though they can see clearly that things aren’t going to work out. It is wise for you to make a bold decision early on or it’ll cost you more much later.
I’m not saying the moment you don’t see perfection, run away. I am saying know what is truly hurtful and could destroy you in the long run. That you could manage some terrible traits for 3 years doesn’t mean you can manage it for another 40 years.
It happens that most people are actually at their breaking points and highest tolerance limit on these areas when the wedding plans start rolling in. They temporarily have new hope and the glamour that they always wished to have and so they compress their pain till right after the wedding.
One thing people tend to underestimate is that when they were in a relationship, there were always people to talk to, many ways of letting out steam that didn’t involve fully having their partners in their faces. In marriage, they now have fewer places to run to and a partner who is always there with the content of their character.
Do your best to ensure you are the best version of yourself and find someone who is the best version of themselves too. With you both constantly improving and growing, you’ll be able to reach the desired perfection that you both deserve.
So it’ll be helpful to see perfection more as a journey and less as a location.
Thanks for reading
What do you think of people and their ideas of perfect partners? Do they really exist? Do you have any additions or contributions? Maybe things you’ve observed and noticed? Drop a comment below. Sharing is a lot easier these days, just hit the social media button to share.
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