Victory Odunjo

Should I Leave My Boyfriend Of 9 Years?

Editors note: Please note that this post isn’t one of those randomly composed posts, its real. I can assure you that the person asking this question truly needs help. So be kind to give the best possible advice:

I am a lady in my mid twenties. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 9 years now. We have always looked forward to getting married, but one way or the other, life has played its cards and we haven’t gotten close to being there yet. I have met his family and he has met mine but there is nothing official. I personally have nothing against my boyfriend, for us to have successfully spent 9 years together means we have found a lot of balance, and understanding. I have learnt a lot from him, and he has learnt a lot from me too.

All this while, I was not close enough to God as I should have been, but over the past few months, I have been able to draw very close to God, and he has helped me in many ways, I am a better person because of God’s grace. Recently God revealed to me, that the man I have courted for the past 9 years isn’t right for me and isn’t his plan for my life, even though our relationship has been doing well. He highlighted the future as where there would be a lot of issues and challenges. Truthfully, right now, I believe God totally, and I am ready to obey, but every time I tell someone about my choice, they warn me and say I should better stay put and not throw the relationship away. They also say things like “How are you sure you will find a good man to get married to later?” These sort of statements make me think twice. Worse enough is the fact that I don’t even know how to communicate my new stance to my boyfriend, because he could just end up heartbroken and devastated. Its very painful to know that I may end up hurting someone who has sacrificed a whole lot for me and that loves me. But I really need to know, what to do and how the best way to go about it is. I will appreciate your contributions and advice please. Thank you.

SEE ALSO:  Ladies Can You Call Your Husband Lord?

My dear friends, what do you think she should do? Stick with her boyfriend, do what she believes God is instructing her to, or what? Be of help to this dear lady and drop a comment, you may use your initials, nickname or anonymous if you are shy.. Let’s share this post to get as much help as possible too. 🙂 Follow this blog by mail to get posts straight into your mail. Thanks

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Victory Odunjo

I'm a people person that simply wants to add value, and inspire others..

15 thoughts on “Should I Leave My Boyfriend Of 9 Years?”

  1. This one hard gan o. My dear if you are sure that it is God speaking, why are you contemplating. I know its not an easy thing to do but we have to do what God says, m sure you want to enjoy and nt endure your marriage, there should be a mentor that has been a part of the relationship,seek advice on how to break d news to him, make him understand. God will give u d wisdom to. As long as its God , my dear i wont take a chance. U should b grateful,so many pple has been waiting for that one word, i bless God for u. Its gud to v a broken relationship than a broken n shattered marriage. U dnt wanna mk d decision u will 4ever regret, i see God helping you. It is well

  2. Hmmm, it is a vry diff situation indeed. One tin abt God is dat he doesn’t giv u an easy task wen he is abt to sometin gr8 in ur life so dat u’ll learn to rely absolutely on him. Ma advice is dat u 4lo d leadin of the Holy Spirit nd rely on him 4 wisdom on hw to tell ur Boyfriend. I believe dis is d reason both avn’t gotten married. But I have a que, is d Guy in que a Christian? Sometimes u may nt no d value of d risk u take if diff situations doesn’t arrive nd for God I believe “all tins work 2geda 4 d good of those dat luv God nd re cald 2 his purposes. I pray he’ll guide u tru.

  3. Well if it is God that said it, then He must be serious about it. God instructs your life according to His purpose and plans He has for you. He has seen the future and might have seen that as sweet as your relationship is now, should you enter into marriage, you may end up not fulfilling His assignments for you and on the last day He’ll judge you based on His assignments for you here not really on how your marriage went.
    Remember Mary after the angel had spoken to her abt her conception, she told Joseph. Because she obeyed, God spoke to Joseph thru an angel and gave him an understanding heart. Obey God and He’ll take care of your boyfriend appropriately. You can always recover with God

  4. Obey God! I know it’s hard, but you must tell this young man how you feel and your new outlook. Yes, it may hurt him but you have to do what’s best for you. Life isn’t easy. Don’t stay in an unhappy place. These people telling you to stay seem like God is testing you to see if you’ll obey his word. I will be praying for you as well. God bless!

  5. You just need one prayer point, and it is that God should reveal it to your boyfriend. When God reveals it to him, he will understand. All is well

  6. This is deep! She should pray to God for grace to execute the instruction He has given her. She needs to pray for a lot of grace…truth be told, she would also be hurt from the breakup. When God tells you to do something…He will definitely make a way for you in the future and beyond.
    I have a friend that went through this…She listened to God, prayed and broke up with her boyfriend. She went through a lot, but she came out stronger 🙂
    My advice today is simple- ‘Be very certain about the instruction God is giving to you…Then go ahead and keep praying for grace to carry it on’.
    It is a test of obedience…she will be fine.

  7. It could really hurt to leave a man who has been there for you for a whole 9year period, particularly because you both have been able to walk together with understanding. But sometimes, we may have to, because of a greater compelling love force. At this point, it doesn’t matter what others say or how you feel. You just feel the need to tilt towards the side of your love, Jesus Christ. And that in itself is a test and proof of your love for him. Jesus said ‘If you love me, you will keep my commandment.’One thing however needs to be ascertained, is it true, certain and definite beyond doubt you are led to let him go? If your answer is positive, then you need not fear. There is nothing you give up for him that you will not have back, and that in a greater and better way too. So, follow the voice.

  8. God is always leading you in the right direction. If the Lord lays something on your heart then it is the right thing to do. It is going to be hard and it wont be fun but he always has your best interest. Take it from someone who repeatedly let herself get hurt trying to stay with someone for 5 years who the Lord was saying “this person is not for you right now.” Even if she says it isnt going to work if it isnt the Lords willl!

  9. My dear, itz better to obey God, I’m sure dat my be d reason why d relationship hs nt resulted into marriage. God’s ways are higher than our ways, HIS thoughts e higher than our thought. HE will definitely give u d bone of ur bone n d perfect man for u in no time.

  10. Pray harder and ask God to show you signs.Gideon asked God for several signs when he wasn’t sure about something.Ask and you shall recieve.

  11. In my little experience I have learnt that obeying God is the best. I myself have had to make some personal sacrifices and while none can be compared to the one she would have to make; the response would have to be the same. His Grace has to be sufficient for her because that is all she would need.

  12. To me, i think you should really ask God to show this same thing to your boyfriend and your boyfriend needs to be spiritually inclined to be able to listen also. ask God to take him away if it is his will. trust me his attitude towards you will change and neither of u will need to go through any heart breaks

  13. Thank you for these great comments everyone, you have been of great help. I pray that you won’t lack good advice and guidance in time of need. You guys are the best 🙂

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