LifeLoveVictory Odunjo

They Say “Don’t Marry For The Body” But I Will

I hear the sound of the rain hit my closed windows, this is the perfect time to get a good rest. But I turn in bed thinking of this matter. I have heard it too many times “Don’t marry for the body”. “That she is hot and sexy doesn’t mean you’ll have a good marriage.” “Six pacs doesn’t guarantee that he’ll be a great leader or father”. Over and over again, these things have been said. So what are we to marry for if not the body? Are we going to marry the spirit or the soul?

Let’s be real here, we are human beings and we know the physical things matter. You will most likely not walk down the aisle saying vows like ” I promise to always love, cherish your spirit and soul alone because that’s the real you. You are spirit and I have never loved your body for once, we may not have children because I’ll never touch you at all, it’s the person inside of your body I love. So I promise to stay with you forever”

Did I just hear you chuckle? Oh right. It doesn’t sound real at all does it? I know! But these are the results of many beliefs that we take to the extreme. We are humans and most of our interactions on earth are through the body, even though our souls and spirits are what control the flesh. Without the spirit, the body is dead, but the kind of spirit that controls the body is what matters. While some posses gentle and great souls, some people possess spirits of strive, anger and even bitterness. It’s interesting to note that these people are all humans.

You can relate to the soul of who you’ll end up being with, when you talk to them, be with them, you get to access what it is that they carry. It is important to know who you are walking with from the inside out. But truthfully you’ll be gazing at a body everyday, a face to the person on the inside that you have come to recognize. It is therefore important to love who you see that carries what you want.

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People tend to fall on one side of both extremes. Many people target just the beauty or handsomeness, and there is no depth or great character to match the face or body being seen. Some manage to marry someone they can barely look at or take out on a date where friends are because they just know they just married to give birth to children. Every area is important. I mentioned in A Woman’s True Beauty that there are people that you’ll meet that may not seem beautiful, until you have access to their beautiful hearts and find out how beautiful they are. In no time, you’ll find that that they become beautiful to you physically, as the beauty of their hearts have made you see the beauty in every area of their person, even up to their looks.

In our times when Instagram, Snapchat, Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter are running consistently with many users, you will be unable to keep your ‘spirit’ sweetheart out of social media. People will want to see you guys together PHYSICALLY, as I am not aware of any social media platforms for spirits or cameras for spirits alone. Pictures and graphics rule our world today, either the ones you’ll show off to your friends now, or the ones you’ll show your children or grandchildren in the future. You must not be the only one that sees the beauty in your spouse, although what you see is most important, others must also see the beauty you see with ease.

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The truth is most of us judge a book by it’s cover, or by just seeing the authors name on it. This points to the importance of how you must take care of yourself physically too, how well you look and dress. Don’t be a dirty lady with very bad breath expecting all the ‘brothers’ to look into your heart! Don’t be a guy that doesn’t need a perfume because your strong body odour is enough! Take good care of yourself, because how people perceive you is also part of who you are.

With all the don’t marry for the body talk, it’s important to note that marrying for the body too is important. We can’t act like we are all spiritual beings alone, knowing well that we also have a physical side to us. Have you found a beautiful lady that easily attracts you but has no depth to match you? RUN! Have you found a man that has a good soul and spirit but you are not attracted to, it’s not compulsory to start something until you see that beauty that you’ll look into daily.

You’ll give birth to children by having sex with your spouse, not by asking that the Holy Ghost will overshadow him or her. You shouldn’t be with someone that you’ll close your eyes when you are about to do ‘it’ or always ask that the lights be turned off when all the action is about to begin. You shouldn’t be with someone that is not even close to the specs you desire, then you keep chasing the skirts, pacs that look like it outside your marriage.


You must be with someone you are proud of. It’s a no-brainier, because marriage is forever, and you are not expected to jump out of marriage like every Tom, Dick and Harry has. Take your time and ensure you get it right before you say those words.
You must be physically attracted to the person you’ll be married to. An important question should be:”Am I really attracted to this person?” “Apart from this awesome character that I see, can he/she turn me on?” 🙂

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Then Jacob said to Laban, “Give me my wife. My time is completed, and I want to make love to her.” Gen 29:21 (NIV).

Jacob loved  Racheal so much, and he showed the proof of his love by first working 7 years to earn her. He was also very much attracted to her that he couldn’t wait to lay his hands on her. Even though he had to wait till he was married to her to have her, his attraction for her could not be hidden, even from his future father in-law. Imagine telling your father-in-law to be, “Give me your daughter, I want to marry her and make love to her” It may be a hot slap that will wake you up from your desire.. Lol (Many fathers don’t like thinking of that aspect). But it is not a wrong feeling when you are with someone you are attracted to.

I would totally marry for the body, but only the beautiful body that leads me into the character, soul, spirit I desire, and the body I will be glad that I chose to look at for the rest of my days…

Thanks for reading.
Facebook: Vctory Odunjo
Twitter: @victoryodunjo

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Victory Odunjo

I'm a people person that simply wants to add value, and inspire others..

8 thoughts on “They Say “Don’t Marry For The Body” But I Will”

  1. Beautiful article and funny too. People shy away from talking about the need for physical attraction and therefore many fail to take care of their outward appearance. Nice one Victory. Thumbs up.

    1. Well said Emmanuela, some people just choose to be careless with their outward appearance because they believe the person they will end up with will simply look into their hearts and love them and not care about how they look. I believe people need to know their outward appearance also matters. Thanks for reading dear!

  2. My question is, what happens when the bodies change? And hers is drastic? You won’t want to look at her anymore? Or you’ll accept the change even though it doesn’t “turn you on” anymore?

    1. I love your question Wura, and I think it is an important one too. We all have to accept that at some point our bodies will change and no amount of surgeries can defeat nature. It is why physical appearance is one of the many things to look out for while choosing a partner, it is not everything.

      There are too many things that would have to be right for a marriage to work as well. I mentioned in my article Keeping Sex For The Wedding Night? Read This, that there even comes a point that sex gets tiring because like every other thing, use has made things unlike the way they used to be. I believe ones spouse is one that one has made a vow to be committed to sexually as well, whether with body change included or not. I also believe that it is every ones duty to exercise and be as fit as possible to ensure that he or she is attractive to their spouse.

      Beyond all things, since we know beauty fades, we must ensure that we are in love with a person’s entirety, the character, values, and even the heart. Whoever we are to be with must be someone we have learnt to love to spend time with. We must love their soul too, because it’s the soul that is the seat that controls what the body does. There is always someone that would love you the way you are, inspite of all your changes and imperfections, and will stay with you all the same. 🙂

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