Hey there! Great to have you join in today on The Victory Path.
Let’s do away with the pleasantries already and get to the main question of the day:
“How does your fart smell?”
Oh come on, be honest. I know it smells like shampoo and the sweet smelling perfume that everyone compliments 😁
Is that really how your fart smells or that’s what you have come to believe it smells like after you get to inhale it alone? “Hmmmm” It surely doesn’t smell nice to me! I know you enjoy releasing these gases in private and you comment on either the sound or the potency of the smell.
Yesterday I heard you ask yourself “Gosh, what are you eating? Your fart smells like the bottom of a pig’s belly!” Hey, I didn’t say that you did! We know you love your fart, and in private you really can’t do without it.
And to the many of you that love to drop the silent bombs in crowded places where it’s difficult to detect who initiated such a deadly mission, I greet you. Then those of you who have learned how to drop it hot right before departing a room, leaving those left behind confused at who replaced the natural oxygen gas given to us by God, you deserve special applause too. God is watching you.
Special greetings especially to the ladies that dress too well to ever be seen as people with terrible farts. When they drop it hot, you can’t even find the courage to politely request whether they are the perpetrators. They won’t apologize either, you would rather believe you probably dropped such a terrible fart by mistake instead of them. Your reward is in heaven dear ladies 😊
I must shout out to the sports fans whose farts sound just like the names of their clubs, favorite players or even managers. I remember chatting with a football fan one day and the fart that he produced was “Arsene Wenger!” On another day it was “Manchester United“. That’s when I knew that farting was a communication. There is another life down there in your buttocks.
Another day, one sister rushing to the ladies dropped one that said “Oprah Winfrey!” I said, “Oh it’s over!”
For some of you, what you get is a stern warning when you fart. It can be a simple “Don’t steal meat again” or “This beans is causing you problems” But we all know you would not listen! 😁
It’s so interesting to note how intolerant we are when we get to smell other people’s farts. Instead of taking it as a special privilege to get to partake of what’s going on IN someone’s life, we react in very funny ways.
I thought there was love in sharing? Soon enough you’ll be complaining that no one shares their secrets with you. How about you taking the horrible smell of the person’s fart with a smile and a nice compliment? But no, you still bring it up as a joke 5 years later? Why? 😭
I remember innocently walking down the corridor that led to a couple of rooms some years back. And being alone, I released the silent fart whisper that blended so well with the wind. I smiled in my heart, proud of the noiseless release 😂
A KING! 👑
But I didn’t know that 3 rooms away, the door was left open for some ventilation. The poor wind thought it was carrying precious oxygen for those folks, but you can figure what it carried, my silent missile. The smell was delivered personally into the hot room at that moment. The rest they say is history 🙌
You really can’t keep clamoring that you want to get married and you aren’t ready to enjoy the farts of your partner for the rest of your life. Think about it. Just when your roommate drops a few bars while asleep and the smell wakes you up, you cover your head with a pillow or spray some air freshener.
Remember that you’ll soon be sharing your room with someone else who may look really beautiful or handsome, but their fart isn’t going to look anything like their face! It’s gonna be a deadly battle and you had better have some extra farts in reserve to win this game.
On a more serious note, we tend to only look out for the big issues as concerning marriage. Meanwhile, the horrible smell of fart that beats sweet perfume has forced many to almost rush to sign divorce papers.
Some couples have arguments on fart or on how the toilet stinks when their partners go to poop! Let’s not get started on that one 💩 Or else we won’t conclude this post 😁
So you had better be ready to be more loving and bearing in marriage. It won’t only be your fart you’ll be making comments about anymore. You’ll be seeing the real effects of those candlelight dinners or delicious meals you both get to share as a couple. Don’t let me mention those first-time meals you allow your partner try and they say tastes so well, you’ll know the real taste at home o through your nose 😕
Also, be sensitive enough to listen closely for the hidden fart messages from your spouse. You could hear “Let’s have dinner next week” or “Breakfast in Bed” or “I haven’t forgiven you for yesterday’s incident“. These things are deeper than you think.
Start from the little things and learn to enjoy the farts that family and friends around you share freely. It’s much-needed practice for the lifetime of fart loading upfront that you can’t avoid.
You are welcome and have a nice life 😂
Thanks for reading
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